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" This can spark a connected conversation — but only if you're willing to do the legwork too.
"You have to be willing to be open and honest, and the partner has to be willing to grant and try what they share," she says.
"We are always changing, and you can help increase intimacy by always staying up-do-date about your partner, rather than assuming they will always stay the same," Lindgren says.
Keep making it apparent that you care, and keep asking. "Though no one can magically remove anyone's pain, you can be there for your partner when they are upset.
Bringing scent memory or visual cues into the narrative is the way to go: "Share as many details as possible," Burns says.
"Expressing how you felt as a child and things that hurt you when you were young gives your partner a real insight into what shaped you as a adult," he says.