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I use the term impotence because it’s probably, as you said, not politically correct but it basically says, “You’re not potent in this area.” I see that and I use that term because I am anything but impotent in terms of my relationship. It’s a group we tend to think of as having a high sex drive with erections being something that occurs even when they don’t want them to. MR: I have to say that this goes against conventional wisdom. You and I are essentially from the same generation.
I use the term because it really gets people’s attention and there are very few men out there talking about it, and we need to talk about it. “Wifely Duty” was about people who have been married for quite a long time but you did say to me that a major interest of yours now is millennial men. Conventional wisdom says that men that age couldn’t care less about intimacy and connection – they just want to get laid! I just went from skirt to skirt and I was just interested in one thing.
I thought that was a very cruel irony as I looked up to the heavens and said, “Are you kidding me?
—- Fellow Good Men Project contributor Michael Russer would like you to know that impotence doesn’t have to mean the end of your sex life, but can be the beginning of a profoundly more satisfying one.
He wants to share what he’s learned with his fellow men, and this very much includes younger guys – who have found that the “hook up” scene winds up leaving them feeling empty and alone. We stayed together until our two children were old enough to be on their own.” But within months after the split, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer, and the treatments he underwent left him, in his own words, “fully impotent.” It was like a cruel cosmic joke; just when he would have been able to start having a normal sex life as a single guy, he physically could not get an erection.
What he had to say certainly wasn’t what you’d expect. He enjoys a wonderful love life, without one of the worries that haunts so many men: performance anxiety. ” so many guys ask themselves, in what becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. SPEAKERS: Mark Sherman: MS Michael Russer: MR MS: You recently wrote a piece on the Good Men Project that was titled “‘Wifely Duty’ and Why So Many Married Women Eventually Prefer No Sex.” Why do so many married women eventually prefer no sex, and what can a husband do about that situation?
MR: It’s really interesting because as a result of my situation – the prostate cancer and then the full impotence – I’ve really been given a gift of some pretty deep insight as to how men and women operate both in and out of the bedroom –particularly in the bedroom.
As the cancer treatment took a toll on my body, I’m no longer able to function sexually the way I used to.